Not surprisingly, I love talking about books (and libraries…but especially the book parts.) A lot of what I write about on this blog comes out of those conversations. The other night for instance, I had a fantastic conversation about books with a friend who I’m just now getting to know better. We talked about the future of books and libraries, fairy tales, the importance of reading – any reading – for everyone, and much more. It was an enjoyable and nourishing conversation, and a great way to get to know a friend better.
Books are often considered as being a very solitary thing. And certainly they are, in many ways. I read to escape, I read to have fun, I read to withdraw into myself. But at the same time, when I read a really good book, I feel like I know the characters I’m reading about. Like I am interacting with real people.
Much has been written about a recent study by Shira Gabriel and Ariana Young published in Psychological Science that showed reading can increase empathy. The authors say “Books provide the opportunity for social connection and the blissful calm that comes from becoming a part of something larger than oneself for a precious, fleeting moment.” And certainly, that’s how I feel when I’m reading. So in that sense, reading is almost the opposite of a solitary activity – it requires connection with characters and material in order to be really enjoyed. At least reading most fiction and a large chunk of non-fiction does.
And books also are for many people a way of connecting with each other in the real world. I’m sure I could have had – and for that matter, did have – many other great conversations the other night, but the one I remember most was about books and libraries and reading and stories. I had a conversation with another friend a couple weeks ago, one whom I have always bonded with over books. We began talking about books when my boyfriend was around. He left to give us some one-on-one time, and our conversation cycled around to many other topics. But by the time he rejoined us, we were back on books.
I talk about books with my mother, a fellow librarian, and exchange suggestions. My brothers and I have spent, literally, hours of our lives discussing the Harry Potter series alone. My boyfriend and I read very differently (he will tackle non-fiction that I get bored just looking at while I’m reading my eighth YA fantasy novel of the month) but we talk about books as well – we share what we read, what we feel about what we read, what we think the other will enjoy. Less than a week ago, I went out with old college friends to grab a couple beers, and we probably spent at least an hour of our evening talking about George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. We talked about plot predictions, character interpretations, wild theories that could just be true, less wild theories that probably were true, how we thought the TV show measured up, what characters we loved and connected with and why, and on and on. And the thing about these conversations is that even though they are about books, they are also about the people we’re talking to. The reasons I find Hermione such a compelling character, or what I think Melisandre’s motivations are in Martin’s work, says something about me. And sharing these conversations with friends, family, and acquaintances gives us a chance to know each other better.
So reading is not always a solitary activity, and books are not just a way to escape from people. In many cases, reading is interacting with people. And talking about books can enhance the books, enhance the friendships, and keep us connected. It's worth remembering that though reading can be a way to retreat from others, it can also be a way to connect.
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